I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize