shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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