There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just invented taco cereal.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
