We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
