I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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