Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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