I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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