i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
