She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
