I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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