So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
