Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You work out of a Hotel?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
