My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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