I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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