i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
