meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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