New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
