Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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