Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
