the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
