That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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