You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
