drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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