The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
