i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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