At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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