ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Alive.
So much puke
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
