He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
