Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
