wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
