Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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