hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
