i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
