does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
