4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the condom got lost in my hair
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
