So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
