I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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