i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
