1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
