If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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