Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
