I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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