does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
