STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
