I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it hurts more in the daytime
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
