We're like a lot better than the average bears
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
