When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
