Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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