I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
