My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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