dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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