I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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