sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
