Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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