I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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