If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
