I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize