We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
