now i know why i became what i already was.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize